At the beginning of the year, I declared that I was going to spend 2023 taking care of me. This is my year. My time. After decades of putting others first, it is time for me to make decisions that strictly benefit me.
Sound selfish? It is not. I am not talking about leaving my loved ones by the wayside. After all, doesn’t the best version of me help my loved ones too?
I’m at a point where I just cannot do it anymore. I have to spend dedicated time to make myself better. For me, this means reading more, slowing down a little, and taking better account of what I put in my body and that means everything from food to social media content. It’s time to go on a diet of the best kind. No, this is not about restrictions- this is about giving myself all the best things.
This will mean something different for each one of us, but I do have some tips that we all can benefit from. Consciously start by giving yourself windows of time that belong to you. I like to give myself the very beginning and the very end of my day. During these windows, I think about what I want and need. I think about where I want my life to go and how I want my life to look. We all need these windows to hear the thoughts in our heads and in our hearts.
Start there by giving yourself time. This is the very least you can do. Shouldn’t a few minutes of the day in our own lifetime belong to just us? I often hear that people do not have time to give themselves this kind of window, but think about this… If you do not have time to give yourself 30 minutes- you are exactly the person I am talking to. The busier you are, the more you need to assert this time for you as an essential boundary.
Secondly, I once worked with someone who was completely incapable of saying no when people asked her for something. She was a single mother with two kids who lived in an apartment. She was probably one of the last people anyone should as for help or a ride because she really only had herself to rely on. Yet, she was the one that everyone seems to rely on. We used to practice asking her questions throughout the day, so she had the opportunity to get comfortable saying no.
You can do this. You can get your time back. You can say no when you already have too much going on and you do not have to give any explanation whatsoever. The more you start doing this, the less people will ask you for help. And anyone who truly cares about you will respect you saying no. If you say no and that person blows up, that’s probably not really a person you should give your time to anyway.
You need to say no to more things more often, so you have the time you need to breathe and really decide what it is that you want out of life. How do you want to feel? Who do you want to be? It takes time to whittle this down to a clear vision.
Start your day by giving yourself all the things that you try to give to others whether that is packing a lunch so you don’t have to grab fast food or scheduling doctor appointments for yourself (which you so easily seem to be able to do for others.
Make your mind up to pour into you. Self-care is not selfish. A better happier you means your friends and family will get the best version of you. That is not selfish at all. Leave a comment or send me a message to let me know how you are committing to take care of you in 2023!